And Then He Called Me Mama

Today marks my first born child's 14th birthday.  Oh. my. goodness.   Why is it my children keep getting older but I stay the same youthful me?  (HA!)

Elijah Jacob...I love you.  Even though we butt heads often and can argue til the cows come home, I love you.  You will always be tucked inside my heart.  I am proud to be your mom.

Happy birthday sweet boy!

Counting Down--WARNING: Graphic pictures below

11 days until school starts.  Eleven!    Seriously, I am so  giddy I might just pee my pants  ready.   I am done with the endless days of bickering, and the complaints of  "Moooom, I'm bored"!   Enough already.

Honestly though, it has been a pretty good summer, especially when I think back to last summer when I was stuck in a major depression and thought that my life was over because of Faith's Down syndrome diagnosis.   I couldn't even begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Nor could I see the joy that was to come.   So, yes, this has been a delightful summer, to say the least!

That said, I am still ready for school to start.   I mean, I'm not crazy.  Or maybe I am. Whatever.

Annnnyway, moving on...

Last weekend, I had enough excitement to last me a lifetime.  Okay, so it was more fear and anxiety than excitement, but enough all the same.    At about 8:30pm, Caleb came bursting through the front door yelling that Josh was hurt.   Well, truth be told, somebody seems to always be getting hurt around here, so my mom-radar didn't exactly go crazy...until, Caleb mentioned the words head, passed out, and blood.  THAT sent me running down the street with no shoes and no bra. Thankfully, I at least had clothes on.

Hubby and I finally got to Josh as he was being held up by a couple of other kids.  He had blood running down his face and he looked pretty bad.  Confused and a little tilted to the side.   I tried to decipher what had happened through the chattering of excited little voices...but all I got out of it was that Josh was hit in the head somehow by a bike.    

We got Josh home and into the bathroom to take a look...

Needless to say, I loaded Josh up in the car and off we went to the ER.   On the way there, he was very dazed and shaking like a leaf.   After taking one look at his head, Josh was ushered back to a room rather quickly.

The nurse came in, assessed Josh's wound, cleaned him up and shortly after, the doctor arrived.

The doctor, Dr. Maul ( I did think that name was kinda funny at the time) said that Josh would need to have quite a few staples in his head to close the wound, but he would need a CT scan first to rule out any   serious injury to his brain, as if the jagged hole in his head wasn't enough.

Here he is just getting ready to go into the CT machine...he was so scared!

This was all I got to see of the CT...so I sat there worrying myself sick for 2 whole minutes.

After returning from the CT room,  things started happening in a bit of a frenzy.   Dr. Maul came in, sat down and told me that Josh's CT scan showed that he had a linear fracture of his skull and that he also had a brain bleed, called a subdural hematoma.  With that, the room started spinning and I was speechless.    The doc said that Josh would have to be admitted to the hospital, but that he would first have to be transferred to a trauma hospital and be admitted into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit under the care of a pediatric neurosurgeon.

All I could do was hold Josh's hand in mine, and place the other hand over his heart, which was beating so quickly I could feel it.    I looked Dr. Maul directly in the eye and practically begged him to tell me that Josh was going to be okay.  He told me that yes, Josh would be okay, but that he had a significant closed head trauma and had to be monitored closely for any changes that might occur.

Be still my heart.  I was so scared.  Scared for my boy, but I kept that fear under wraps and kept the air light by joking with Josh and laughing about the doctor saying that Josh had broken his "brain bucket".

Anyway, after the news was delivered, the doctor said that he had originally wanted to staple Josh's wound, but in light of his fracture and that he would need another CT scan in the morning, he had to just suture the wound.

Dr. Maul did an awesome job, don't you think?

So, now that Josh's head is all pieced back together, off we go in the ambulance.

Not too much happened once we were settled into the PICU.  Josh's nurse did very frequent 'neuro checks' to make sure he was doing okay.  

Funny thing was, I didn't even notice that they didn't change him out of his bloody clothes until the next morning.   Once they got him into bed, he wasn't allowed to move much.  

It was a long night.  Neither one of us slept a whole lot.  I was plagued with worry.  Josh was kept up by the frequent checks and some anxiety, I'm sure.   Not to mention that he was taken down to CT at 4:30 am!

I did a lot of clock watching...

Thankfully though, a sweet surprise came to cheer Josh up!

By the late afternoon, the neurosurgeon came in and said that Josh's second CT scan looked the same as the first, so he could go home.   Yes, there was a fracture, but the brain bleed had not gotten any worse and he didn't expect it to.    Before he left the room, the doc got right in Josh's face and told him that he MUST wear a helmet ANY TIME he is on wheels.  He also said that if Josh were to hit his head again in the next couple of months, it could kill him.   Certainly not something I wanted to hear.

Eleven more days.  Eleven more days.  Eleven more days...

15 Months!

It seems like just yesterday that I was writing about Faith turning 14 months old...now, here she is 15 months already!  And, here I am, behind in blogging. Again.  Never fear though, school is right around the corner and I am planning a HUGE party  ready for it. These long, dogs days of summer at home with 6 children are just begging to drive me insane  be over and done with.  I need some "quiet" time.

I may be weird, but I don't mind AT ALL getting up at the crack of dawn to pack lunches and lay out school uniforms.     I don't mind making breakfast, finding lost shoes or brushing long locks of blond hair.  Yes, it's hectic, loud and chaotic BUT it only lasts an hour or so and then I get to deposit my children safely into the hands of some very special souls.  Teachers!     I love those blessed souls.


Anyway...only 19 days of summer vacation left, but who's counting?

Okay, here goes :  Faith, what are you up to these days?


* You can still fit into a 6-9 month size in clothes, though I have been putting you in a 12 month size too.

* You are in a size 2.5 shoe without your SMO's and a size 3 with them on.

* You are climbing up stairs like a pro...it's getting back down them that is the problem.

* You are cruising along everything--the couch, coffee table, walls...

* You are taking some fledgling steps while holding onto my finger.

* You are saying more and more words and trying to imitate us.

* You are finally clapping!

* Still no teeth :)

You are a joy, as always!  I am enjoying every minute with you...I love you sweetheart!


We'll be going to the pediatrician next week for Faith's 15 month well baby visit, so I will have updated stats then.   I'm guessing she is roughly 17lbs and maybe 28 inches.   Such a peanut!

Today we celebrated the 12th birthday of my son, Caleb.   Caleb came flying into the world at 2:21pm on July 6, 1998.  He weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 19" long.     It's hard to believe that in just one year we will be ushering in his teen years.  

At Caleb's request, I farmed out Eli, Josh and Gracie to friends houses for the night.   Caleb had a couple of his friends over for pizza, cake and a sleepover.   He also got his very first cell phone.  Talk about excitement...and how come his cell phone is nicer than MINE?

                         

                                            

                                            

                              

                      

Happy 12th birthday Caleb!  You're a great kid...I love you!

Happy 4th!

For 16 years now, the 4th of July has meant more than just fireworks and hot dogs on the grill.   July 4, 1994 is the day my husband and I were married and became a family.   It's hard to believe that 16 years and 6 children later...  

I'll be the first to admit that our marriage is on pretty rocky ground.  Life is tough.  Life with kids is tough.  Life with a bipolar kid is tough.  Life with a kid with special needs is sometimes tough as well.   It all takes it's toll, I suppose.   I'm not sure what keeps me hanging on, but even on the days when I am hanging on by a thread, I keep chugging along.

Anyway, moving on...

I have enjoyed the reprieve from doctor appointments lately.  I actually don't think I have had Faith into the doctor since her cardiology appointment.  ( I could be wrong about that though, but I don't think so!)   That being said, after this next week, the dizzying pace will begin again with another onslaught of appointments.

A visit to the eye doctor to schedule a tear duct probe surgery, a 15 month well baby visit, to include labs to check her blood counts and thyroid,  a visit to the ENT for a  hearing test...pair that with twice a week therapies and this girls calendar is full!    However, I am SO very thankful that we are not having 2-3 visits a week to the Oncology/Hematology clinic for blood draws and injections of Neupogen to bring her neutrophil count up.  Nor are we in the hospital on O2.    My view on a "normal" life has really been put into perspective with the challenges of raising a child with special needs.    Even so, I wouldn't change my sweet baby girl for the world.

Mama loves you baby girl, barbecue sauce covered face and corn in your teeth (if you had any teeth!) and all!

From one special girl to another...

                                         Get well soon Ella!
                                                                                                  Love, 
                                                                                                  Faith
                          
* Click on Ella's button on my sidebar for her story...

She's a Rockstar

                                                      

Her future is so bright...

She has to wear shades.                                                                

So full of love and life...she's going to do great things!                            

She's a rockstar, you know.

Having this little girl in my life is a lesson of something that is a whole lot bigger than me. A lesson that I am excited to be a part of.  A lesson that I plan to excel at.

Faith's sweet soul just makes me drink her in.  She is beyond anything I could have ever asked for or imagined.  She gives me so much joy it makes me weak in the knees!

I love you my little rockstar.